Day 3 : OCt 29
Today we met Clay for breakfast in our hotel. He is the founder of Remys foster home. I can not tell yall enough how much this man means to our family. He was so encouraging - reminding us that the agape love of Jesus is what makes this bonding process do able. He reminded me a lot of my grandfather. Just a kind kind man. He looks like Santa - no lie - and he has the most gentle spirit. After visiting with Clay we came up stairs to allow Remy to play with a new toy - a baby doll. It was so sweet to watch her rock , pat and feed the baby. This afternoon after naps we are headed to swallows best to meet her nannies and the people who have cared for her for the past two years.
We got back from swallows night early ebbing. It was a wonderful trip hard at times but so necessary in our little girls grieving process. Jordan and I both felt it important to go as this is where Remy spent her first two years of her life. Heather , the director , met us in the hotel lobby and escorted us there. The home is modest and clean and full of sweet babies longing for a family. The workers were so excited that we came back to say goodbye. We spent a good 3.5 hrs there and boy was Remy happy. She immediately recognized the area the minute we got out of the cab and starting saying the name of one of her friends Once inside she was non stop. Playing with everything and everyone. It was so amazing to see her little personality even shine brighter whe she was among her familiar surroundings. We got to talk to her primary caretaker among other young college aged volunteers. They were quite impressed with Jordan's Chinese and I was so proud of him ( Connie - you would be too ) When it was time to leave she immediately started to wimper. We let them take as many pictures as they wanted and we of course wanted to do the same. We were gifted a beautiful photo album in which contains Remys youngest baby picture we have of her. I was so grateful. What a treasure to show her as she grows. As we were leaving and walking down the stairs , her cries were loud ; screeching ; reaching her arms out for her nannies as we carried her down the stairs. It was heart wrenching. If I could take away the pain I could but although it is hard --- and I mean it royally sucks --- jordan and I both feel such a vital part in her healing process . It provides closure for her and even if it means a few more rough days ahead for us parents , we know that this could be a turning point in her attAchemnt towards us. Remy cried until we were to the cab. Jordan gave her a sucker to help the sobs and she quieted down and nestled into my arms until we were back to the hotel. She ended her long emotional day with a nice warm bath because what woman doesn't love to soak in the tub after aong hard day.
This morning , Thursday - little miss slept till 9 am. !!!!! So where are we in this whole bonding process : Remy favors me still. She won't accept food or toys from Jordan. I must hand it to her. She doesn't like Jordan to touch her let alone sit close by. Although we are working on that. We've been doing a lot of side by side playing and we try to manipulate circumstances in which she has to accept a toy out of Jordan's hands Sometimes she falls for it and sometimes she doesn't. She continues to show us that there is really no physical evidence to merit her label of brain damage and I am amazed at all of her abilities. She is tiny. She weighs about 18 pounds and fits into 9-12 month clothing. The size 3 Toms I brought her are to big. So I imagine she is more like a size 2. I adore her. She is the cutest little thing ever. I just think that we are going to have be really patient. Thanks so much or the continued prayers.
And the minute I finished typing this.... Remy decided that she would tolerate jordan holding her for the first time without tears. Thank you Jesus
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